your thong is hanging out like whoa
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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