I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
