Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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