I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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