You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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