The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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