college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
