i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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