Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
