I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
