Little spoons don't ask big questions
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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