JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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