Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
