if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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