I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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