Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
