I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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