why didn't you poke me back
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
