So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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