This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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