I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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