ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We left an ass print on the piano.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
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