Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
