i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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