he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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