We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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