SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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