oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
