I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
