I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
