Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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