Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
