thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
