me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
