In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
