; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
