Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(216): View more from Ohio

Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.

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(819): View more from Quebec

its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger

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(330): View more from Ohio

theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.

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(812): View more from Indiana

No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve

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(585): View more from New York

they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too

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(574): View more from Indiana

Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool

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(818): View more from California

I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.

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