my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
