very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
