i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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