Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
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