Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
