i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
