so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I need moral support for this bender
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Randomize
