Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
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