she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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