When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I just googled if crying burns calories
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
