New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
