I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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