every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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